   = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count        the history of the definitive frink                       does anyone actually come to this section? wow.... you must be even more bored than me!well, let's get on with it.. the definitive frink opened it's doors sometime in november, 1995. since then, it's been through 4 major redesigns and luckily, being the digital packrat that i am, i still have all of them in their original form.many people have written me over the years, and i'd like to thank all of you for your support and nice comments. you are the ones who have kept me into this for so long, and i hope that this site will remain in operation until the show becomes unprofitable.i don't know if all of the links work in here, so surf at your own risk! i hope you enjoy it!so without further ado, here ya gothe definitive frinkversion 1.0this is probably my most favorite design. it's simple, elegant, abstract and obnoxious. i'm sure that many of you haven't seen this, so check it out, it's quite good for a first run. this was my very first web page, back when i was on aohell. this right here is what got me into the net, so to speak. the definitive frinkversion 2.0hmmm... i think this redesign was my introduction to corel photo-paint 7 (with  the boss ), and my introduction to frames. i had never used frames before, and it was something that i wanted to do. as you can tell, they are cheezy, but seem to help in the navigation of things a bit. the definitive frinkversion 3.0this is the one we just got away from. i like a lot of the graphics in it, but as a whole i really hate it. there is no consistency among pages, i was obviously going through a transformation at this point in time. i was more interested in the graphics than anything else, and it shows in how disjointed the site is. overall, lots of neat individual graphics, but good riddance! buy me bonestorm or go to hell!                                                                      27573 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other uh, these aren't real x-rays, are they?                                                              192691 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      the wizard of evergreen terrace                                                     (5f21)original airdate9/20/1998frink: and these should give you the grounding you'll need in thermodynamics, hypermathematics, and of course microcalifragilistics. homer: look, i just wanna know how to invent things...tell me! frink: all you have to do is think of things that people need but which don't exist yet. homer: you mean like an electric blanket-mobile? frink: ...ehmmm, well, possi-blech. or you could take something that already exists and find a new use for it.. like-- homer: hamburger earmuffs! frink: well, i suppose that would qualify homer: thanks, sucker! frink: wa--alright, just stay calm, frinky, these babies will be in the stores while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix! mayored to the mob                                                                  (aabf05)original airdate12/20/1998(courtesy of aceman6532@aol.com and aribe554@aol.com)frink: step away foolish amateurs, just keep back, keep out of it the role is mine with the acting and the groupies and the "luke! luke! save me!" with light saber and vwingg-- vwingg-- vwinnnnnnnnng groundskeeper willie: that's not how ya vwing! (punch!)wild barts can't be broken                                                          (aabf07)original airdate1/17/1999(note that in this scene, frink's eyes can be seen through his glasses, something never seen before)frink: brilliant, they transduced amplitude modulation via the concavity of that oversized beverage conveyence.  i mean, that is some clever goyvin!wild barts can't be broken                                                          (aabf07)original airdate1/17/1999quimby: settle down people. as we speak, chief wiggum is tracking down those little squealers using the latest in crime fighting technology. wiggum: ah, i got nothin, how bout you frinky? frinky: i have captured the signal and am presently triangulating the vectors and compressing the data down in order to express it as a function of my hand... they're over there!homer to the max                                                                    (aabf09)original airdate2/7/1999lady: how bout an autograph? man: picture, mister? frink: can i have your shoes? homer: c'mon people! enough is enough!they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999frink: you should all do what i say, my iq is 199 for cryin-out-gyvyvn. (whacks his head against a pillar)... 198... 197 steven hawking: big deal, my iq is 280 (crowd gasps)they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999lyndsay: why not both, then everybody's happy. comic book guy: oh yeah, everyone's real happy then. lyndsay: do i detect a note of sarcasm? frink: are you kidding me, this baby's off the charts. cbg: oooh a sarcasm detector, that's a real useful invention. (detector explodes)they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999comic book guy: we are hardly nerds, would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt? lisa: see dos. see dos run. run, dos, run. ha hahaha. only one preson in a million people would find that funny. frink:yes, we call that the "dennis miller ratio".they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999principle skinner: we have some new rules and regulations that you're just gonna go ape-poopy over, professor frink: professor frink: well, first of all, we're going to ban such barbaric sports as bullfighting and cockfighting... (crowd cheers)  also boxing, uh, both kick, and the kind with the gloves there,  (less than enthusiastic cheer) and, hockey, football, push-ups, and anything in general where you have to take off your shirt which is embarassing.they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999professor frink: we studied traffic patterns and found that drivers move the fastest through yellow lights, so now, we just have the red and yellow lights, hu-hu-mm-hey.they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999lisa: this is so cool. i feel like i'm back in the renaissance. frink: please stay in character, gentle wench comic book guy: fairly i declare that the earth revolves around the sun, and not t'other way around. lyndsay: stop looking down my blouse, copernicus cbg: forsooth, my eyes doth rove of their own accord frink: someone took our gazebo skinner: no no, that's impossible, we reserved it months ago. lisa: someone should stand up to them.they saved lisa's brain                                                             (aabf18)original airdate5/16/1999dr. hibbert: welcome to mensa, lisa principle skinner: it's the organization for people with high iq's. lisa: i know that! it's also a constellation visible only from the southern hemisphere. frink: she's good. she's very good, vr-vr-wheyvy! andshebroughtacremepie!thirty minutes over tokyo                                                           (aabf20)original airdate5/23/1999(professor frink seen here presumably waiting for some hot bit-monkey babe to tickle his hard drive.)monty can't buy me love                                                             (aabf17)original airdate5/2/1999frink:oh my great good god! gentleman your attention please  i am detecting a gigantic amphibious life form! it's 80 meters long and it's heading this way oh, good guyvin it's on my shoe! it's...a small frog... just get off just get off  get outta---stupid machine. oh, wait a minute, this  isn't the monsterometer, it's the frog exaggerator!monty can't buy me love                                                             (aabf17)original airdate5/2/1999burns: drain the lake gk willie: what? burns:you heard me, deploy the de-loch-enator frink:guhhhooow...ohwwwwww.. guyhughhhh.. pumping is hard.... guoyymonty can't buy me love                                                             (aabf17)original airdate5/2/1999(frink seen here for the unveiling of the new mega-mall)monty can't buy me love                                                             (aabf17)original airdate5/2/1999burns: what do you people think i'm paying you for? homer: uhm, to work in your power plant? gk willie: you're not paying me anything! frink: ya kidnapped me, i remember it distinctly with the grabbing and  the duct taping and the tennis ball in the mouth that hurrrrt meeeeee.monty can't buy me love                                                             (aabf17)original airdate5/2/1999frink: let's see now, we have the monsterometer, flipper finder, hoaxascope, which is important for the looking and the finding..season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other you want excitement?!  shove this up your stocking!                                                  192690 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         the new and improved fr-link-o-lator!                       you have reached the fr-link-o-lator! the latest in high tech gadgetry and technology with the code and programming and the database and webpage..mmm-whey. this is a forum where you can post comments about other sites, or even post your own site here for criticism and praise. if you'd like, there's a prefab button for your consideration, or make your own which you are more than welcome to share with the world. just send it to me when you're done, and i'll post it up here. note: the newest sites are on the back page... click the  button at the bottom to view them,or make you way through all the sites with the other navigation. it's just that simple!                                              site name: the definitive frink                                                                                owner: aaron                florian             overall rating: 4.5member since: 11/8/1998 4:16:41 pmnumber of reviews: 54update, update, update,  tapa, tapa tapa.... update, update, update,  but i still love the layout and concept!  more reviews...                                                 site name: picks' tribute to the simpsons                                                                      owner: picks               overall rating: 3.7member since: 4/5/1999 1:33:59 pmnumber of reviews: 4how long we waited this to be redesigned? almost a year and it turned be just a renovated. this site has excellent scans almost every character and it has nice collection of other information too, but what i don't understand is updating and this design. standards are changed and this sites design/layout is too old. it doesn't say anymore 'come visit here and you'll get surprise :)'. times has changed, shannon! more reviews...                                                 site name: the simpsons channel                                                                                owner: adam                 wolf                overall rating: 3.7member since: 12/1/1998 1:53:12 amnumber of reviews: 18a very good site to stay up-to-date with simpsons news.more reviews...                                                 site name: the simpsons archive                                                                                owner: jouni               overall rating: 4member since: 12/7/1998 8:14:18 amnumber of reviews: 16simply, the most fantastic and definitive simpsons information site there is. none better.more reviews...                                                 site name: evergreen terrace                                                                                   owner: eric                 wirtanen            overall rating: 4.1member since: 12/5/1998 3:22:08 pmnumber of reviews: 11this site is undoughtably the best i have come across. it's update frequency is unbeatable, and the content is second onlt to the ssb. it really has some good touches.more reviews...                                                 site name: the top 50                                                                                          owner: eric                 wirtanen            overall rating: 3.3member since: 12/6/1998 7:42:44 pmnumber of reviews: 9this site is never updated anymore so i give it a big 'f' on updates.more reviews...                                                 site name: globex corporation                                                                                  owner: johnny 5            overall rating: 3.9member since: 12/7/1998 5:42:48 pmnumber of reviews: 7so this site has multimedia.  but let's face it, there is barely any information whatsoever and no original sections.  the design is plain, with a little javascript, but shouldn't be getting the support it gets.more reviews...                                                 site name: the simpsons folder                                                                                 owner: jukka                keskiaho            overall rating: 3member since: 12/10/1998 8:27:11 amnumber of reviews: 18i love this site not only does it have a unique layout , it has all original features and loads of infomation, as well as pictures u can only find theremore reviews...                                                 site name: füxworld: the sampsons                                                                              owner: füxworld            overall rating: 3.5member since: 12/12/1998 2:44:13 pmnumber of reviews: 5this is a funny site, came and visit it if you want to make fun out of fox.more reviews...                                                 site name: sounds of the simpsons                                                                              owner: dr. nick            overall rating: 3.9member since: 12/13/1998 2:44:36 amnumber of reviews: 3wow this stuff is really great!!!!!!! keep it up!more reviews...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  page: 1                                                      bart, bedtime!  i laid out your jammy-jams!                                                          23781 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      marge vs. the monorail                                                              (9f10)(professor frink, pictured here screaming for his life on the maiden voyage of springfield's monorail)selma's choice                                                                      (9f11)(from the springfield sperm bank, with the brilliant motto, "put your sperm in our hands", comes "101 frozen pops", a mail order sperm catalog. featured on the cover, troy mcclure, jaques, and professor frink.)so it's come to this: a simpsons clip show                                          (9f17)frink: i have and unorthodox solution. a "fantastic voyage" if you will. three scientists, one a beautiful woman, will be shrunk to microscopic size. they will then rendezvous in mr. simpson's lower colon. everyone: eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww! frink: well, we have had a little trouble finding volunteers.marge in chains                                                                     (9f20)frink: and if we freeze on frame 138, we distinctly see a puff of blue hair coming from the grassy knoll.season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other that was real cute kid, the way you took away my dignity like that.                                  192684 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      the principal and the pauper                                                        (4f23)original airdate9/28/1997(professor frink cheers on arman tamzarian as they say goodbye to the real seymour skinner.) treehouse of horror viii                                                            (5f02)original airdate10/26/1997lisa: wow look at all these gadgets.. if i were a nerd, i'd be in heaven! frink: good morning, ma'am, good afternoon sir. it passed noon while i was speaking so that was technically accurate. homer(to marge): he's crazy.. bart: hey einsteen, how much for the mood pants? frink: bleahhhaaahhhuuuyyy how much you got? frink (to robot): nice try floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing, and scrubbing is what you shall do. homer (after noticing he was teleported through the matter transporter device): hmm! frink: i take it from that little impressed noise that you are interested in purchasing that matter transporter, sir. homer: ahhhmmmm... two bucks...? and it only transports matter? well, uh, i'll give you 35 cents. frink: sold! but i must warn you this devices carries a frighteningly high risk of catastrophic-- homer: i said i'll take it!the two mrs. nahasapeemapetilons                                                    (5f04)original airdate11/16/1997(professor frink is a "reject" in springfield's bachelor auction. in attendance from left to right is the comic book store guy, barney, hans moleman, kirk van houten, moe, disco stu, frink, captain mccallister, and otto. note the potential continuity conflict, in that frink mentions his wife in 8f23, and a possible appearance of his wife in 2f07.)lisa the skeptic                                                                    (5f05)original airdate11/23/1997(professor frink here to view the "angel" that lisa finds on an archaeological dig. although i hate to bring it up, all the people that are there are debunking the scientific side of the angel, and are looking to the angel as an object of faith. frink should be defending the scientific side of things.. tsk, tsk, tsk.)the joy of sect                                                                     (5f23)original airdate2/8/1998man: or....   nananananananana... leader! nananananananana... leader! (everyone joins in, including frink) nananananananana... leader! nananananananana... leader! leader! leader!  homer: batman! i mean, leader!the joy of sect                                                                     (5f23)original airdate2/8/1998(frink, who has joined the movementarians, merely lets out an unintelligible (in the truest frink sense) groan when homer asks him if he is going to finish that gruel) homer: you gonna finish that, bony? frink: oooohgryyyyyhmmmmbwooooyythis little wiggy                                                                   (5f13)original airdate3/22/1998professor frink demonstrates the visible computer frink: the section now illuminated is the floating point unit, one of my personal favorite units.  (the superfriends ooh and ah, and take pictures) frink (taking in all the attention): oh, well.,, bart: hey, how do you get this thing to play blackjack? frink: stop that, you're hurting it. bart: so how's it supposed to work? frink: well-- bart: boring! am i on the internet? frink: no, you can only access-- bart: boring! what's that fire for? data: the hard drive is crashing at an alarming speed! frink: no more pictures! the knowledgeum: where science is explained with brightly colored balls. the trouble with trillions                                                          (5f14)original airdate4/5/1998 frink: oh no.. no no i felt that, you didn't carry the one you foolish person. now you'll incur the penalties with the compound interest and the wrath and the truncheons ba-hey. trash of the titans                                                                 (5f09)(frink seen here as judgement is passed on homer simpson at the town meeting.)season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... memo                                                                           192689 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      homer defined                                                                       (8f04)frink: these unfortunate people here will be instantly killed. this circle, which i am sad to say we are in, will experience a slower, considerably more painful death. kent: good lord!flaming moe's                                                                       (8f08)frink: brace yourselves, gentlemen. according to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... love!? who's been screwing with this thing?radio bart                                                                          (8f11)frink: although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen, so that future generations can rescue him.lisa the greek                                                                      (8f12)frink: after evaluating millions of pieces of data in the blink of an eye, the gamble-tron 2000 says the winner is... cincinnati, by 200 points?! why, you worthless hunk of junk.homer alone                                                                         (8f14)(professor frink seen here at the train station with his son.)brother can you spare two dimes?                                                    (8f23)frink: this radio controlled plane gives your baby the chance to fly, just like my son here. he can execute the barrel-roll, loop-de-loop, then bring it in for the perfect landing. (plane crashes through the window and out of sight) crowd: (gasps) frink: oh dear, my wife is going to kill me.season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other aah! someone's trying to kill me! ...  oh, wait, it's for bart.                                      192683 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      treehouse of horror vii                                                             (4f02)original airdate10/27/1996lisa: listen, i can take care of everything, all you have to do is unshrink me. little frink: unshrink you?! well that would require some sort of a rebigulator, which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle.. but not at you o holiest of gods with the wrathfulness and the vengence and the bloodrain and the "hey hey hey it hurts me"treehouse of horror vii                                                             (4f02)original airdate10/27/1996little frink: it worked! the debigulator worked!you only move twice                                                                 (3f23)original airdate10/3/1996rev: god bless you frink: see ya! apu: bye!the homer they fall                                                                 (4f03)original airdate10/10/1996frink: aaargh!burns, baby burns                                                                   (4f05)original airdate11/17/1996(professor frink dances at larry burns' going away impromptu party)bart after dark                                                                     (4f06)original airdate11/24/1996 (professor frink as seen here chopping a tree down at the burleque house, also nearly gets hit by marge when she comes in on her bulldozer. back of head shot when homer begins singing.) lisa's date with density                                                            (4f01)original airdate12/15/1996frink: oh, pawns can't move that way, you stupid arm! (phone rings) frink: lab! homer's auto-message: greetings, friend. do you wish to look as happy as me? -- frink: (gasps) why it's the at-5000 auto-dialer! my very first patent. aw, would you listen to the gibberish they've got you saying it's sad and alarming? you were designed to alert schoolchildren about snow days and such. well, let's get you home to frinky. hope your wheels still work.hurricane neddy                                                                     (4f07)original airdate12/29/1996(professor frink is nice enough to be a big little helper for the resoration of flander's house, can also be seen at the kwik-e-mart)el viaje misterioso de nuestro jomer  (aka the mysterious voyage of homer)          (3f24)original airdate1/5/1997(professor frink serving up a heaping helping of virtual chili)my sister, my sitter                                                                (4f13)original airdate3/2/1997(seconds later folks, yes! he's back on his feet! only a true scientist could make such a drastic recovery.)my sister, my sitter                                                                (4f13)original airdate3/2/1997(professor frink in the waiting room at dr. nicks, being brought in by his probable experimentee. note the sparking tool in his hand!)grade school confidential                                                           (4f09)original airdate4/13/1997(all mouths are agape as principle skinner declares himself a virgin.)the secret war of lisa simpson                                                      (4f21)original airdate5/18/1997(finally we get him in the season finale! no speaking part, but when bart connects all of wiggums megaphones in succession and blows out springfield with a sonic boom, we switch to frink, playing with his octopus in one of his aquariums. the sonic blast explodes the aquarium, hence the octopus escapes and gives frinky a great big hug!)season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other "do it for chewie and the ewoks...and all the other puppets..."                                      192688 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count            the definitive frink: webmasters forum    30)   {     alert("please enter at most 30 characters in the \"e-mail\" field.");     theform.email.focus();     return (false);   }   return (true); } //--                       welcome to the webmasters forum on tdf. this is the baby step of what i hope will become a central location for cool graphic design, hot tips, great programming, and overall wicked site design. there are a lot of things i've learned over the past few years, and i'm happy to share as much as time will let me. but also, as far as i know, there is no real central point for simpsons webmasters to get information and dialog on what we all love to do.   html help sessions!i promised and here it is, the very first session on how to make your page better. believe me people, things this trivial to the experienced are not the only things that i'm going to cover, but there are a lot of sites out there that need some serious help. and that's why i'm doing this. i'm going to end up showing you how to do nifty things too, but we have to get the basics out of the way. and this is as basic as i could get.  lesson 1: antialiasing and what the hell is it? lesson 2: transparencies and antialiasing lesson 3: hot damn! mouseovers! lesson 4: make your own bitchin' simpsons pics! (members only)   lessons that are potentially damaging to this simpsons world will be made "members only" by popular request.         ooooo yeah.  shake it madam.  capital knockers.                                                      19681 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      rosebud                                                                             (1f01)frink: well, it's not your original bear of course, but it is programmed to be just as cuddly (frink turns bear on by remote, huge metal claws pop out, reaching for monty) frink: aw, doggone it.... it's supposed to be doing a little dance..  burns: get the bear off! smithers: i got him.. frink: i'm tryin' to turn it off... bear: arrrgh! no... bear... want... to... live! arrrgh!bart's inner child                                                                  (1f05)(professor frink, participant, as shown here yacking it up with didily-doodily flanders, and doing what he feels.)homer the vigilante                                                                 (1f09)frink: well, as you can see, when the burglar trips the alarm, the house raises from it's foundations and runs down the street, round the corner to safety... well the, the real humans won't uh, won't burn quite so fast in there.season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other please take the basket off my head, kid.  the fries are extremely hot.                               192685 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      welcome to the museum of patent pending! here is where you can find out more about the illustrious inventions of our beloved professor! he's been hard at work inventing everything from a running house to a lovely pair of hamburger earmuffs! please note: this section is not yet complete... but we're working on it really hard!floyd                                                                              surfers, meet floyd. floyd, meet surfers. floyd is one of the more recent brainchildren of the frinkian family. floyd is not merely a robot: he is a robot with hopes and dreams as exhibited by his attempt to escape the compound. with the ingenuity of putting a sold sign on himself at the yard sale, floyd seems to be asking the world, "won't you let me live?"the "poiuyt"                                                                       this is one of the neatest items for sale at the frink yard sale. where else but planet frink can you defy the laws of physics for only 12 bucks?   matter transporter                                                                 the matter transporter is an item that was found in the treehouse of horror. it was one of frink's inventions up for grabs at a yard sale. the asking price was $2, however homer bought it for 35˘. after the cat and dog went in simultaneously (twice the pet and none of the mess) bart ended up going through with a fly. however the outcome, as shown here, was not as he expected.deathray                                                                           this prototype was brought to abe simpson when abe inherited $106,000 for further funding. the deathray, frink was confident, could destroy an area the size of new york city. unfortunately, abe was interested in helping people instead of science, so it never went any further.chess-master                                                                       this invention could make a wonderful playmate once honed.. in an obvious attempt to beat big blue (the chess champion of the universe), frink has designed this: the ultimate chess machine. however, in somewhat typical frink fashion, there are still some bugs to be worked out, as evidenced in his yelling at the machine, "pawns can't move that way, you stupid arm!" bobo-fett                                                                          when mr. burns was longing for his teddy bear, bobo, professor frink came up with a replacement teddy bear. although the bear was designed to be cute and cuddly, and do a little dance, the invention backfired and went on a tirade.frinkahedron                                                                       for your amusement, this mythical dimensional object is known as a frinkahedron. it is supposedly a third dimensional object, which we all know is just silly. this object comes from thoh, where homer took his chances in the mystery wall. seeing as this is more of a theory, this would be a discovery as opposed to an invention.gamble-tron 2000                                                                   capable of calculation at mips speed, the gamble-tron 2000 was designed to accurately predict the outcome of sporting events, most notably football. this behemoth box is scientifically advanced, however the logic that was put into this machine was less than perfect.. in the prediction by professor frink on the cincinnati vs. miami game, the outcome was "cincinnati by 200 points!" in the words of professor frink, this invention as a whole can be best described as a "worthless hunk of junk."flying motorcycle                                                                   "hey son, wanna try this flying motorcycle i just invented?" was professor frink's query to bart. only a stupid little boy would pass up the chance to ride on this baby, capable (i'm sure) of near-mach speeds. this motorcycle is set apart from many of frink's other inventions: it apparently works! at-5000 autodialer                                                                 this little beauty can no longer be an object of the museum of patent pending. it is frink's very first patent! this is the at-5000 autodialer, in the words of frink "designed to alert children of snow days and such." it is preprogrammed with all of the telephone numbers of the residents of springfield. homer ended up picking it up after a bust where the at-5000 was used illegally. homer used it to call everyone and request that they send $1 to "happy dude" for eternal happiness. when frink was called by the autodialer, he tried to retrieve it, however homer caught it in the process of going back to frinky and broke off it's legs.hamburger earmuffs                                                                 when we got a hold of these little babies we were ecstatic! these are the now world-reknowned hamburger earmuffs! what better way to keep your ears warm and have a little snack than these? these earmuffs are the latest in frinkian headgear and are sure to be all the rage. frinky will have these on the market while his competitors are still figuring out the pickle-matrix.season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other d.m.y.                                                                                               192681 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      kent brockman: "destruction! blood! war! terror has struck everywhere!! ..enough about my bitter divorce. now the news... after a long and exhaustive selection process, springfield has been chosen as the site of the next environmental research biosphere. we go to the scene just minutes ago."  professor frink: "springfield" (pulling a ball out of a tumbler) it seems that bart, that frisky little 10 year old, has made his own little "miracle" in springfield. it seems that he has rigged the beloved statue of their town father, jebediah springfield, to openly weep.  here, professor frink is being interviewed by kent brockman to see if this is scientifically possible. kent brockman: ...and professor, you say that you've completed a chemical analysis of these so-called "tears?" frink: ah, hem... that's right, kent. my study has shown that the liquid emitted from the statue has basically the same chemical make-up as that found in a human tear  (in the next pane)  kent: well, there you have it. scientific proof positive that the statue of jebediah springfield is crying actual human tears. frink: of course, that certainly doesn't prove that... (scene cuts) "send in the clowns" is a wonderful story about how government has lost sight of the people. the scene is set in beloved springfield, where lisa is the only one in the whole city that is excited about the presidential campaign that is coming. lisa is heartbroken to find out that the campaign is merely a media circus, and democracy is no longer a reality.   in the frame that frink appears in, he seems to be blinded by the light, as everyone in springfield has now come out of their dens to return to normalcy after the campaign leaves to find another town. and, as "campaign usa" sinks slowly into the muck, springfield returns to normalcy and vice-versa...in this issue, frink does not appear anywhere but the cover. but what a cover!simpsons for dum-dums is a delightful sendup where professor frink is a main character. professor frink is experimenting and trying to make lower mammals (aka homer) smart. professor frink is successful, and homer becomes a very very intelligent creature. because frink appears so many times in this issue, and is not really a bit role, i would have to scan the whole issue and basically write out the entire script.   however, i think that the fine people at bongo might have a problem with this, so just buy the issue and make everyone happy. professor frink: "just don't expect too much--you still won't understand the national league balk rule."  homer: "that's it--just a little pill?" in his never-ending plight to cheat the u.s. government out of taxes, krusty finds that the only way to get around the tax codes is to create his own country. he goes on tv and invites people to join him in krustonia. professor frink shows up to experiment free of government regulation, as well as to help out with the country's agricultural and electrical problems.frink: i always like to be here when each little bundle of genetic joy is born! whoo-heyburns: this is it, smithers. i certainly hope our little moppet here doesn't disappoint.  smithers: i do too, sir. in this issue, homer goes to a costume party dressed as radioactive man. after stopping dr. colossus from his evil plan (without knowing it), homer grabs onto dr. colossus, whose head has become affixed to a light socket, and is propelled through the air, as pictured here. frink, in attendance...reporter: what a shot! frink: nng woy!cletus: dang maw, lookit 'im go maw: hoo! cbg: show off! grampa: far out! wiggum: that's some mighty fine flyin' mister! jaspar: i can dig it masked man: who is that masked man?note that professor frink is appearing on "the labcoat network".. frink: as you can see, i ahemhoo-hay grasshopper... petri dish... there once was a man from nantucket.  it's a work in progress actually what with the uncertainty and the pitfalls and the hey! look at me, i'm on television. this issue, titled milhouse the man, krusty in the can, & the great springfield frink-out is absolutely fantastic. professor frink has accidentally altered the outcome of reality, where all the roles of our favorite springfieldites are switcheroonied. frink plays a major part in this issue, so you definitely don't wanna miss it!frink: but that's not the way things should be! due to a trauma to the space-time continuum, things have been altered from how they really are! in the reality that should be occuring right now, you're a free, rich man, with a top-rated local tv program and a line of industrial waste drums that i just rave about to my colleagues.lisa, disconcerted with her music teacher, mr. largo, decides that she is going to give up her sax. on the way to king toots to trade it in, she passes chintzy quincy's discount recording studio. she decides to tape her beloved sax and tape it "one last time... for posterity". after her jam session, she goes to pick up her tape. the nerd in the control studio, dizzy with stupidity over the flirting fluezy from otto's band, gives her a blank tape. otto and the screaming whiners are recorded onto lisa's tape, somehow leaving her track intact.  when otto's tape gets airplay, it is a instant hit. it is a "unique blend of speed metal and jazz," dubbed "spazz". after much attention to the song and continued airplay, otto's band gets a gig. at the gig, the band is not well received becuase of the lack of the jazz, as lisa is not on stage. the crowd becomes disgruntled, culminating in professor frink yelling, "hey otto, you stink! get off the stage!" in the treehouse of horror premier issue, lisa begins an experimentation with a plant (which appears to start as a venus flytrap) and dna from homer's toenail clipping (mmmm.. toenail), something goes horribly wrong. the plant dies, but comes back to life later with an insatiable appetite: for donuts! when the plant is featured on television at apu's, all of springfield rushes to apu's now remodeled quik-e-mart plant emporium to get a donut eating plant of their own. shown here is an enlarged photo of frink, money in hand, surely to buy one and dissect it.in treehouse of horror ii, sideshow bob is given an experimental drug which turns him into a grotesque, hideous blob. the simpson children are on the loose again, and look for people to help them nab the evil sideshow blob.  one of the people they meet up with is the illustious professor frink. frink however does not believe the simpson children, and spoilerseason2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other uhhh, no you got the wrong number, this is 91......2                                                 192680 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count      what's new at the definitive frink                        greetings and welcome to the definitive frink.    if you are a first time visitor, welcome to the site.  there is plenty to do around here, all of it frink-themed, but not necessarily  frink related. if you're looking for certain appearances, his  inventions, or  really anything else to do with our illustrious professor, you've come to the  right place. if you are looking for tips on how to make your site better, check  out the html help sessions. if  you are an old veteran to this site, i honestly don't know why you keep coming  back. you must be even a bigger loser than me.   the latest news     11/20/01 -  aaron logs into site, sees everything is broken, weeps. so, why is it that no one ever tells me that mah stuffs broken when it's broken? ohhh, that's because i never update the site anymore. gotcha. well, for all the homies out there, i've fixed the email and the database and everthing around here should be back in working order. for a quick update, in the past year, uh, i haven't really done anything. went to nyc a week ago and it was unbeleivable. if you get the chance to make the pilgrimage and pay your respects, i would definitely do it. i've been toying around with the idea of actually doing some content updates to the site here. i just want to prepare everyone so they can take some bayer to minimize the heart attack.      01/21/01 -  the definitive frink breaks: nick burns saves day greetings everyone, and welcome to another exciting edition of an update. first off, i am not addicted to amihotornot.com anymore.  secondly, i am not into women who "got back" or anything like that. and finally on the dispelling rumour front, well, my addiction to corn on the cob is highly overstated.  now, back to business at hand.. for any of the extended parts of the site (where you need to register), you'll need to put your user number in again. if you don't have that email  (and if you still do, you should be shot), go to this page and   put your email in the bottom again. follow the instructions, and you'll be able to do cool stuff on the site again.   well, i got some important things i gotta do, so i'm off. oh, and if you haven't seen it yet, check out this site. it's pretty cool.     11/24/00 -  whoa. update. three things i am most thankful for:  freedom flannel sheets beer  sorry about the outage over the past week, internerd.com moved to a new home, and all is well.  i hope that everyone had a great thanksgiving.    7/2/00 -  hi y'all.. i've been pretty busy, but for the most part well.. have had a baby, veronica, who rules. she's pretty cool, seems to like her daddy an awful lot, which is a good thing. on the frink front, i've been pretty much a tool and haven't updated season 11 yet (gulp), but will at some point. springfield university is not dead, and will be resurrected in a couple of months hopefully. trust me, it's worth it. it's about 95% done, but getting to the last 5% and all of the testing is a pain. oh well... such is life. if you feel the urge, you can always drop me a line and say hi.    5/30/99 - you are just going to go ape-poopy over this... i'm caught up with the frink appearances! i got a mess of the scenes with frink from they saved lisa's brain, and the one from the season finale. there are some really good quotes in aabf18, so make your way over to the season 10 area on tdf tonight.. they are great. so, if you see frink in the background of any episodes, make a mental note of it and come back here to see if i've got it. if you find frink in an episode i don't have as of now, you could be eligible for one of our fabulous prizes!    5/24/99 - i may not be kidding about that y2k update.. okay,  okay, it's a little far fetched, but things have been pretty tough all over.  it's nice to see that things are still kinda kickin', although i wonder what  futurama is going to do to the simpsons. i wasn't looking forward too much to  futurama, but i gotta say, it's really, really good. i mean really good. the  writing in it is so much snappier than the simpsons have been, it's like season  7/8 episodes all over again. really nice to see that. family guy is pretty out  of control too, much more biting in the humour department,.. i again wasn't  expecting much, but now that the characters are a little more developed, they're  really starting to click. and the x-files was a great finale. can't wait for fox  sunday night again!   anyhoo, don't throw in the  towel on me yet, hopefully this weekend i can get all caught up and have  everything back where it's supposed to be. i have a ton of stuff from e-bay that  comes from frink lineage, as well as a mess of comic books that have made their  way here. oh, and on a final note, don koharski is a complete loser, and i think  that bill clement is sleeping with patrick roy.  5/2/99 - has it really been that long since an update? wow..  i suck. i apologize, i've not lost interest, i've just been really getting beat  up at work. anyway, what a great, great segment with frink tonight (i don't know  what the episode name is yet, should have been monty can't buy me love), this is  why i love frink so much.. just classic, classic frink. i will have the episode  up by y2k. i promise.    4/10/99 - hey there, duuuuuuudes.. i wouldn't want you to  have a cowwwww, mannnnn. there hasn't been much going on in the tdf world, so  i've been working a lot. i'm going through my old emails, and i just realized  that i'd forgotten all about the swl. so, if there are any webmasters out there  that want to start it up again, send me and email by clicking here.  again, let me know what sites you run, and so forth, and i'll get you the list  of members from the old swl. you'll have to host it on a onelist type server or  something, there's plenty of freebies out there.new poll question. check it out.    3/14/99 - mmmmm-whey! tdf was named  cool site of the  day on saturday! check it out here. thanks lenny for the nomination. unfortunately i just found out  about it today, but it's still quite the honor!    3/7/99 - well, instead of watching the worst episode ever,  i've updated a couple appearances.. i have homer to the max in there, as well as  the long forgotten lisa on ice. i'm not going to be working so much on the  goodies for a while, but trying to acquire more appearances and fill out the  museum. i think i may actually start playing virtual springfield. hey, btw, if  anyone knows of any good mail-order comic book stores, please let me know. i  need simpsons comics 34-935 or whatever the hell they're on now.      3/2/99 - i don't have any clue as to what  special   thing i was talking about... that would be the fever talking. sorry 'bout that.    3/1/99 - nothing much going on really, i've got some changes  in the works (something special), but it may take a little while. htmlhelp5 is  on hold. i'm deathly ill with the flu. i'm cranky. the only cool thing that's  going on is that i'm site of the month at brenda's dating advice for geeks. i don't know whether to take that as  a compliment or what, heh.. thanks, brenda!    2/18/99 - it's been a long time since i laughed this hard.  damnit, is this a great site. futile.com, and make sure you have your flash plug-in.  pure genious.     2/15/99 -  this is wicked!    2/15/99 - well, i've been updating a lot of the little  things. you can't count out the little things in life. and a couple of big  things too. the fr-link-o-lator as you probably know has been revamped, with the  as of today added bonus of being able to add a site. i forgot something when i  was doing it (aka what if a site has no reviews?) so all of those sites were  dumped. all better now.  i just have to mention that you people are the worst  testing crew i've ever had. why didn't anyone tell me that this whole damn  section was underlined in netscape? please! tell me when something doesn't work,  especially in nutscrape. i test pages in it, but i'm not as disciplined as i  should be when it comes to that.    2/5/99 - wow! have i been getting a lot of heat! it seems  that some people don't like the fact that i've given away my huge secret on my  graphics! well, i don't apologize for anything, i'm sorry, that's just the way i  am. anyhoo, i've decided to make the htmlhelp4 feature a members only thing,  which is just a primer for the htmlhelp5: the making of the definitive frink.  this is going to be a multi-parter, so don't get too jiggy yet. when i was  making it i kept all of the originals in their ugly form, but this is going to  be something absolutely incredible. i'll be taking you through the first part,  graphics, and then through headers, footers, and a little bit of the code that  runs under the hood. it's going to be a super kickass series, but this one will  definitely be members only. stay tuned.    1/30/99 - how long were you guys gonna let me go on thinking  it was 98? jeez.. no one caught that. phew!well, there is a new  html help session. the one that you have been waiting  for....the secret to how i do my frink images! it's a great lesson, pretty easy,  and giving away all of my secrets. use it wisely, my friend.  1/28/99 - thanks if you were hammering my server, i have  found the problem with it, so internerd should be up more often than not now.  yay! also, in the wtf category,  anyone have any idea what the hell  this is? laughed my ass off when i saw it. then i was  very afraid.  1/27/99 - tdf has been experiencing immense difficulties, and  i'm working on finding a fix. if it's down, don't kill your links (you know  better than that) but it may be going through some continuing rough times. it  would actually help me out a lot if you would hit all the pages and beat on this  server a bit, i'm having asp stop processing pages, and it seems to have  something to do with connections / load / memory leaks. so please continue to  come and check everything out if you can.    1/21/99 - hiya again. i was looking through my old frink cd,  and came across something that  was too good to pass up. it's something that i made a long, long time ago,  but in a slightly different application. check it out.    1/17/99 - hot damn! we got some new frink over in the appearances section, so make  sure to check that out. can you believe it? the day it happens it's up. of  course, i'm still missing that other ep that he's in, so if you have it on tape  and a snappy and such, feel free to mail me.    1/15/99 - hello there you crazy people. i've been up to no  good as usual, and have little to nothing to report. lots of people have been  adding to the quote  generator, so keep it coming! internerd's on it's new box, and that's  wicked. it smokes. i'm having a coke and a smile, listening to a band called  komputer. check them out, they are super kraftwerkian, very very cool stuff.  much fun was had by all. simpsons webmasters: oh, and  by the way, i quit icq for the most part, so you will no longer find me on it.  if you want to get a hold of me on some technical issues, sign up for the swl.  it's settled down a bit and there are questions and solutions trickling in. i'm  happy to help anyone who requests it, but i'm getting barraged by icq people  everyday, and it's taking too much of my time. don't worry, i'm not becoming a  recluse or anything, i just need to manage my time better.    1/14/99 - i had to reload tdf off of backup because bill  gates is a moron. i don't think that i lost anything except my update from the  8th or whatever. i know you are crushed. check out the simpsons channel for and interview with  yours truly. there also a pretty cool picture of me up there.    12/31/98 - i haven't put it in the fun section yet, but the  frinkmaticquoteolator is open for business! check it out!    12/31/98 - well, i'm back in business once again, however am  going to be focused on work all weekend and next week. can this really be my  last update of the year? wow. how time flies. hope you all have a great, safe  new years eve. this is the last time we will turn a 19xx new year over, so make  it a good one.   if anyone  can send me a wav file of frink's last appearance, or a screen shot, i'd  appreciate it. somehow i missed that episode. it is now the only episode that i  don't have on tape. i feel so dirty.    i'll be back in a  week.    12/26/98 - damnit am i out of commission. i don't have a  client computer anymore, as the stuff that i bought was crap. for all of you who  are looking at buying new components, if you are in the market for a  motherboard, do not buy an amptron. i have tried for a week to get this thing up  and running, and it still does not work. i believe that it's an issue with dtr  between my drives and their controller. whenever there is hardcore disk activity  the system blue screens. not to mention that nt won't even load on it. what  fun.  so, don't count on anything to be updated outside of the  frlinkolator section for another week. i have to return everything and get new  stuff, so i will let you know how that goes. if the company who sold me this  piece of crap doesn't play nice, you will hear about who it was and such. if  they are cool about it, i will let you know that too.   12/19/98 - i will be out of  commission this weekend. i have finally gotten some new hardware, so i will be  working on backing up my current client machine and getting the new one up. i  also got some of the hardware for the new server (internerd.com), which will be  upgraded from a 75mhz with 48mb, to a pii350 with 128mb. everything should run a  little bit quicker on this end, however the bottleneck will still be the pipe. this site is still rocking, thanks to all who are  coming. the htmlhelp sections are doing great, and i think that there's a new  question coming up sometime soon.    12/16/98 - i have begun work on  the frinkmaticquoteolator, a working title. my favorite part of the site are the  random quotes at the bottom. i love them. i'm in the process of making a new  section where you can add a quote up to 100 characters for the bottom of the  screen. keep checking back.also, thank you to everyone for making this site a  success. please spread the word about it... yay!    12/15/98 - there is a new html  helper in the webmasters  forum. if you haven't been there yet, this is a section for all of you  webmasters to gather and learn and love and nurture your skillz, brotha, a-dog  out.    12/13/98 - i've updated the frlinkolator, and hopefully this  will decrease the load time on that section. it's a pretty simple solution, one  that is, i think, very very cool.. webmasters, make sure that your  screencaptures are very small (4k or less), because it's now part of an  elaborate mouseover.    12/11/98 - well, one week, 2000+  hits. thanks to all who gave tdf some exposure on your sites, for the web people  there is a  button in the frlinkolator section for you to put on  your page to encourage visitors to review your site. if there is enough  response, i will make a couple more... there is a new voting question for the  week (there will be a new question every week), please vote only once... i've update the listserv / webmasters  page, there are now two tutorials, kinda basic, but essential to have... also, changed the  navigation because of the limitations of the javascript preloader.  12/5/98 - the new definitive  frink now open for business! well gang, it's been a long  time coming, but we're finally here, and i couldn't be more excited! everything  seems to be working pretty well. there is a lot of advanced programming that  i've put into this, so if something doesn't work, go ahead and  e-mail me and i'll  look into it. thanks to my testers who did an awesome job, and make  sure to have some fun! --  that's pretty much it for now... as always, thanks for your  patronage.. aaron the  definitive frink      i would've expected more from jimmy the scumbag.                                                     40232 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.        = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         the definitive frink: fun stuff                      welcome to the fun section of the definitive frink. i expect this section to grow, so i'm clustering it all together.. hope you don't mind.anyway, there's a couple of cool things here right now.. professor frink's patented create-a-card was really really popular when it was up last, so i've decided to bring it back. also, and brand new to the site, is professor frink's vote-bot. this is still not yet complete, however it is fully operational. what this will eventually become is a voting booth where you, the viewer, can add multiple choice survey questions, and your question will be queued for later use. i'm still working on the algorithm for assigning dates to this function, but when i get some spare time i'll throw that on. but until then, get your butt in the voting cubicle! operator give me the number for 911!                                                                 33964 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.        = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      old money                                                                           (7f17)frink tries to sell abe on the idea of a deathray. this is the first frink appearance, also note that his wife is mentioned here.grampa: what the hell is that? frink: why it's a death ray my good man, behold! grampa: (putting his hand in it's path) hey! feels warm, kinda nice. frink: well it is just a prototype.. with proper funding, i'm confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of new york city. grampa: but i want to help people, not kill 'em! frink: oh. well, to be honest, the ray only has evil applications... you know, my wife will be happy. she's hated this whole death ray thing from day one.three men and a comic book                                                          (7f21)frink's first minor appearance(professor frink seen here rummaging through some comics.)season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other your appearance is comical to me                                                                     192682 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      treehouse of horror vi                                                              (3f04)original airdate10/29/1995grampa: i'll save homer. all i needs is four stout men to work the bellows.. frink: no pops! it's too risky. for all we know there could be cubes in there the size of gorillas and other large-- homer: help! i don't have much time!treehouse of horror vi                                                              (3f04)original airdate10/29/1995no.treehouse of horror vi                                                              (3f04)original airdate10/29/1995lisa: well, where's my dad? frink: well, it should be obvious to even the most dim-witted individual who holds an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology, that homer simpson has stumbled into... the third dimension. lisa: sorry. frink: here is an ordinary square -- wiggum: whoa, whoa, slow down, egghead. frink: -- but suppose we extend the square beyond the two dimensions of our universe, along the hypothetical z axis, there. everyone: (gasps) frink: this forms a three-dimensional object known as a "cube", or a "frinkahedron" in honor of its discoverer. homer: help me! are you helping me, or are you going on and on? frink: oh, right. and, of course, within, we find the doomed individual.sideshow bob's last gleaming                                                        (3f08)original airdate11/26/1995(professor frink appears in col. hapablap's underground cavern as dr. strangelove) 22 short films about springfield                                                    (3f18)original airdate4/14/1996frink: ohhh, sorry i'm late, there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying when the monkeys stole the glasses off my head! (screen fades to black) oh, no, please no... i have a funny story, if you listen. i even wrote theme music, listen!  ahh-ha, hey hey professor frink, professor frink he'll make you laugh, he'll make you think he likes to run and then the thing with the.. person..   oh boy, that monkey is going to pay. much apu about nothing                                                              (3f20)original airdate5/5/1996(professor frink in attendance at homer's "no on 24" rally)much apu about nothing                                                              (3f20)original airdate5/5/1996apu: i enrolled in springfield heights institute of technology under the tutelage of the brilliant professor john frink. frink: well, sure, the frinkiac-7 looks impressive, don't touch it! but i predict that within 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of europe will own them. apu: could it be used for dating? frink: well, theoretically, yes, but! the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest. season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other there's more than one way to get high, baby!                                                         192687 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.       = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count            the definitive frink: appearances!                       looking for a particular episode that professor frink was in? look no further, for you can find them here. the following is a comprehensive collection of all of frink's known appearances. if you know of an appearance that is not in here, the please tell me! i want to make sure that i have everything, and with your help, blah blah blah, bling bling bling blah.                                                                select from the above icons, or to select a particular season, click on the drop down list below.                         select a season     -------------------------------------      + season 10      + season 9      + season 8      + season 7      + season 6      + season 5      + season 4      + season 3      + season 2                          i am totally focused.... look, my hat has earflaps!                                                  42814 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.        = 3.0) { roll = 'true'; } else if (browser_name == "microsoft internet explorer" && browser_version = 4.0) { roll = 'true'; } else { roll = 'false'; } // preload images, if browser supports mouseovers if (roll == 'true') {  var imglist = new array ( "images/backpage/nav-whatsnew-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-appearances-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-inventions-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-history-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-listserv-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-fun-on.gif", "images/backpage/nav-frlink-on.gif" ); var imgs = new array();  var count; if (document.images)  for (count=0; count         tdf99: grab yourself a little frink!                      itchy & scratchy land                                                               (2f01)frink: man! if this is happening here, i'd hate to think what's happening at euro-itchy and scratchy land.itchy & scratchy land                                                               (2f01)frink: you've got to listen to me. elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok, in an orgy of blood and the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving. scientist: how much time do we have professor? frink: well, according to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours (all robots turn against the humans) frink: oh. i forgot to carry the one.lisa on ice                                                                         (2f05)(frink seen here at bart vs. lisa's hockey game.. kinda strange that a nerd attends so many events, huh?)homer bad man                                                                       (2f06)frink: as you can see, i have created a lemon ball so sour it can only be safely contained in a magnetic field. the candy, known as 77x42--- where the hell is the candy? homer: (with complete face puckered in) "i don't know."grampa vs. sexual inadequacy                                                        (2f07)frink: i doubt very highly that one elixir could boast so many fantastic properties. (drinks the tonic, turns into handsome stud) let's say we amscray out of here and have a wild wing-ding at the cyclotron, doctor? mrs. frink (assumption) anything you say, professor!bart's comet                                                                        (2f11)frink: good evening ladies and gentlema-- man: (from audience, screaming) quit stalling, what's the plan?! frink: alright, just take your seat, just take your seat. now, working with former carter administration officials and military men who were forced into early retirement for various reasons which we won't go into here, we have planned this defense for the city. as the comet hurdles toward the city, our rocket will intercept it and blow it to smithereens. (model rocket blows up the comet, debris falling on moe's tavern and catching it on fire) moe: oh dear god no! mayor quimby: and that will be the end of our mr. comet (applause and cheering)lisa's wedding                                                                      (2f15)smithers: oh, mr. burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. how're we doing, boys? frink: well, we're up to fifteen! scientists: yay!lisa's wedding                                                                      (2f15)n'guythe pta disbands                                                                    (2f19)frink: the compression and expansion of the longitudinal waves cause the erratic oscillation, you can see it there, of the neighboring particles. little girl: eh! frink: yes...what is it, what, what is it? little girl: can i play with it? frink: no you can't play with it. you won't enjoy it on as many levels as i do... the colors children!lemon of troy                                                                       (2f22)frink: hello, son. you want to try the flying motorcycle i just invented? bart: no time. frink: okay!lemon of troy                                                                       (2f22)bart: i could sure use that flying motorcycle now.. frink: you had your chance!season2 / season3 / season4 / season5 / season6 / season7 / season8 / season9 / season10comics / other oww! pointy! eewww! slimy! uh oh! moving! awwww...$20. i wanted a peanut!                            192686 this web site, its operators, and any content contained on this site relating to "the simpsons" are not authorized by fox.  "the simpsons" ™ and © fox and its related companies. all rights reserved. any reproduction, duplication, distribution in any form is expressly prohibited.    