Subject: [6lowpan] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt

From: [email-masked]
Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2006 15:50:02 -0400

A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts directories.
This draft is a work item of the IPv6 over Low power WPAN Working Group of the IETF.

	Title		: 6LoWPAN: Overview, Assumptions, Problem Statement and Goals
	Author(s)	: N. Kushalnagar, G. Montenegro
	Filename	: draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt
	Pages		: 14
	Date		: 2006-6-23
	
This document describes the assumptions, problem statement and goals
   for transmitting IP over IEEE 802.15.4 networks.  The set of goals
   enumerated in this document form an initial set only.  Additional
   goals may be found necessary over time and may be added to this
   document.

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From: gabriel montenegro <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 24 Jun 2006 08:40:27 -0700 (PDT)

I finally got around to making the changes based on the WG last call comments.

Below, please find the changes based on an email from Christian.

-gabriel

### Daniels nits ###

I believe it is ready to the IESG. Good job Nandu and Gab...:-)

Minor nits: both LoWPAN and 6LoWPAN seem a bit confused
around the document. If available, defining terminology would
be favorable.

Daniel (Soohong Daniel Park)
Mobile Convergence Laboratory, SAMSUNG Electronics.

### End of Daniels nits ###

gab> I clarified the usage for 6lowpan the first time it was used as
follows: 

    The following sections take into account these characteristics 
    in describing the  assumptions, problems statement and 
    goals for LoWPANs, and, in particular, for 6LoWPANs (IPv6-based
    LoWPAN networks).

I also went through the document to make sure it was consistent in its
usage.

### My nits ###

Sorry for the late feedback.

As Daniel said, good job Nandu and Gab.

However, I have the following nitpicks: 

Section: 2. Overview
Possibly missing a linespace between bullet 9. and 10.

gab> Ok.

Section: 4.2. Topologies
Last sentence in this section: 
 "This, or course..." 
should probably be
 "This, of course"

gab> Ok.

Section: 4.4. Limited configuration and management
Last sentence in this section: 
 "...yet be powerful to control dense..."
I suggest maybe to add "enough" between "powerful" and "to".

gab> ok.

Section: 4.6. Security
Last sentence in this section:
 "Please refer to security consideration section below for an in depth
requirements for security"
I suggest change to:
 "Please refer to the security considerations section below
   for in depth security requirements."

gab> ok.

Section: 5. Goals (Page 7-8):

I think the reader would gain a better understanding of the goals for
6lowpan if we start each goal with a clear definition (one-sentence) of
the goal, then followed by the related background information. The goals
appear more or less hidden in the text in its current form. This is
especially true for goal nr. 2, which is mostly background information
until at the end it is stated "this goal needs to investigate using
existing header compression... ". 

gab> Good suggestion, added topic headers.

I also think the usage of word goal in goals 2 and 3 are confusing.
Examples:
"...this goal needs to investigate..." (Goal nr. 2)
"The goal should specify a method..." (Goal nr. 3)
It is we (the working group) not the goal , which needs to investigate
and to specify. Correct me, if I'm reading it wrong.

gab> Yes, clumsy wording, I revised it, thanks.

Overall I think the document is good, and I believe if you incorporate
my nits on the goals section, then it is IESG ready. 

Again, excellent work. :-)

gab> Thanks for your generous comments. As you point out the wording
needed some work, so I gave it another editorial pass to try 
to improve it. Hope it helps.

Regards
Christian

### End of my nits ###

----- Original Message ----
From: [email-masked]
To: [email-masked]
Cc: [email-masked]
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2006 12:50:02 PM
Subject: [6lowpan] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-6lowpan-problem-03.txt 

    

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---

From: Soohong Daniel Park <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2006 14:06:01 +0900

Gabriel, 

Thanks your kind clarification. The sentence
below looks good to me... 

Regards.

### Daniels nits ###